


Pretend it's ok

by v_i_x



Series: please don't forget about me [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Character Death, Hanahaki Disease, Lim Changkyun | I.M-centric, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-18 22:04:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14861114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/v_i_x/pseuds/v_i_x
Summary: Falling in love can be painful but a broken heart is far worse.





	Pretend it's ok

**Author's Note:**

> So, this popped into my head at 3 AM.  
> This is my first time writing about Hanahaki and it greatly interested me.  
> Please enjoy! <3

He knows it was utterly foolish to fall in love especially if that person was a band member with a boyfriend. It was no secret among the Monsta X members that Wonho and Kihyun were in an established relationship. It was revealed to them during their ‘Hero’ promotions but they already suspected well before then. They are practically on each other 24/7 and the way they simply looked at it each other was enough to make you want to vomit candies and rainbows.

In fact, that’s what Changkyun prefers to vomit now instead of these damn flower petals that scrapped his throat with each gag reflex. The color was blue that shined pretty against his pale skin. He was almost distracted by the string of blood that coated the surface of it. This was bad. The only way to cure this disease was to get surgery or die. There was also the piece of information of confessing to the person you love and them loving you back.

But Changkyun wasn’t stupid. The day that Wonho would love him back is the day that hell will freeze over. The silver blonde was madly in love with Kihyun and constantly displaying it to everyone. Even their fans had caught on, but Starship Entertainment had released a statement saying that they were only just friends. Yeah fucking right. 

No one knew that he was struggling with this deadly disease. He has been good about masking his emotions and keeping his distance from the others. He knew that they wouldn’t understand why he chose Wonho as his lover. To be honest Changkyun didn’t know either. He was one of the rudest people that he met on ‘No Mercy’. The other guy made it clear that he hated his guts and didn’t appreciate him gracing him with his presence. 

It took Changkyun months to get over Wonho’s hatred of him but when he did he began to see him in a new light. He grew more and more fond of his handsome face, pale skin that desperately needed sun, sharp pointed and unique nose, full plump pink lips and beady dark eyes that seem to glimpse into his very soul.

Changkyun knew he was in way too deep and cursed himself for bringing this upon himself. It would have been so easy to fall in love with Jooheon. He was the hyung that dotted on him the most and was the one to hold his hand out to him first during ‘No Mercy’. Changkyun would never forget that. He owed the cute dimpled boy a lot, but he couldn’t find it in himself to love him more than a brother. 

“It’s time for dinner, Kyun” said Kihyun knocking on his door and shaking him out of his cruel thoughts. Changkyun had just shut the door to the bathroom wiping his mouth. He hoped there wasn’t anymore blood displayed on his skin. 

“I’m coming, hyung” he spoke tiredly and following the pint sized vocal to the dinning area where the others were located at. Everyone had already started eating with their mouths filled with food and loose chatter. When Changkyun joined the table, he made it a point to sit by Hyungwon who barely paid any attention to him.

He prayed the others would follow his actions but as always Fate loved fucking with Changkyun. 

“Are you sick?” came Kihyun’s worried voice across the table causing Changkyun to glance up with wide eyes. 

“What?” he said not having any idea why he was just asked that question.

“I-I’ts just I heard you vomiting in the toilet earlier”

Everyone froze at his sharp words and Changkyun wanted nothing more to just disappear. All his hyungs gave him a worried look and it didn’t help matters when Hyungwon reached out to touch his forehead.

“He doesn’t seem to have a temperature” he muttered to himself, but everyone had heard him and Changkyun laughed nervously. 

“I feel fine you guys it’s just earlier I ate something that didn’t agree with my stomach that’s all” Changkyun continued to chuckle away nervously but some of his members wasn’t buying it. 

“Are you sure? We can ask hyung-nim if you can have several days off” suggested Hyunwoo kindly but this was the last thing that Changkyun wanted. He shouted ‘no’ loudly causing everyone to jump with shock and stare at him strangely. 

“I’m seriously okay” Changkyun reassured lamely and they finally dropped it. He sat listening to them idlily talk when suddenly Kihyun decided to display his boyfriend Wonho some affection. It was difficult to ignore them especially when Wonho was laughing so loudly. He looked so damn happy when he glanced at Kihyun and Changkyun was jealous. 

He never really looked at him like that and it hurt a lot. He bit his lip to silence his sounds of disapproval, but a rough cough was travelling up his throat faster than the speed of light.

Before he could launch himself up from the chair to get away, his mouth was rudely jarred open as the blue petals fell. He continued to cough with blood making its debut. When he was finished Changkyun was surrounded in nothing but total silence. His cheeks reddened in embarrassment as his dirty secret was just revealed. 

“What the he-e-ell?” stammered Jooheon getting up from the table and crowding Changkyun’s space with nothing but bone shattering hugs. He winced trying not to get his blood on the other, but it was unavoidable. 

“I’m sorry” he whispered. “This is all my fault I’m so sorry”

“No, Kyun the Hanahaki disease is not your fault. There’s no way that you can control it so don’t think that” said Hyungwon coming up beside Jooheon to hug him also.

“How long have you’ve had it?” asked Minhyuk sadly and his question once again caused silence.

“For about two months now” he numbly answered.

“Who is the person that you’re in love with?” asked Wonho, his voice soft and emotional. 

Changkyun couldn’t believe he just asked that. For a moment, he debated about just lying but what good would that be? He has come this far already they might as well know the whole truth by now.

“You” he said with his voice cracking. 

Without meaning to he started to cry. His tears seeped through his eyes like a waterfall and he just broke down. All around him were sharp intakes of gasps at the startling revelation that was just bestowed upon them. 

“You’re in love with my boyfriend?” said Kihyun in clear disbelief. 

He was sure that he was pissed. Changkyun was afraid that Kihyun would cuss him out but it didn’t happen. Instead, Wonho just walked wordlessly up to him with his thumb lightly brushing away his tears. He stared at him sadly his eyes bearing all his emotions. And Changkyun knew right then and there that his love for him will never be reciprocated. 

“Kyun, I’m sorry but I don’t feel the same way. I love Kihyun and I could never love anyone else that is not him” he said brushing more of his tears because Changkyun was a sobbing wreck right now. His urge to cough grew and he forgot that he no longer had to hide it from the others. So, he coughed up those goddamn blue petals with blood sprayed on them. His whole body shook with more of the coughing.

“Quick we have to get him to the hospital!” shouted Jooheon picking up Changkyun in his arms and carrying him to their van. Hyunwoo was already on the phone with their manager explaining the situation to him as Kihyun recklessly drove through the streets. By the time they arrived to the hospital, Changkyun was a bloody mess. The area around his mouth was completely soaked in blood as well as the flower petals. 

Wonho held his hand crying his eyes out. Changkyun barely had his eyes open staring at the love of his life.

“Please hyung take care of Kihyun and cherish him with all your might. Because nothing hurts more than a broken heart” he mutters squeezing the other hand tightly.

“Why are you saying this? You make it sound like you’re not going to be here”

“That’s because I’m not” says Changkyun. “I can’t survive like this hyung you’ve literally broke me” 

Their conversation doesn’t fall on deaf ears as all their members are listening in on this. They all wore expressions of pain while Wonho wore nothing but guilt. Changkyun didn’t want that to be the last thing he seen on his lover’s face. He quickly grabbed his hand to place a soft kiss on his fingers making a glimmer of a smile mend his lips.

“I love you so much. You are a beautiful person and please continue to show the world your beauty by gracing them with your talents. I will always watch over you, my love” he said coughing one more time before he went completely still. 

On that day, Changkyun died in his lover’s arms with no regrets.


End file.
